Dear Theophilous,
“Who am I to judge?” One might say that this was the
question heard around the world. The fact that it was asked at 35,000 feet on a
Papal flight, might just justify that moniker. The context of the question and
the Pandora’s box it opened aside, by asking the rhetorical question, Pope
Francis brought sharply into focus the human fear of being judged.
Very early on in my blogging career I wrote a short article
on judging and being judge (you can read it here). I addressed the dilemma of
trying to help others avoid condemnation at the final judgement without coming
across as taking on God’s unique role of judge of their soul. It is a very fine
line, and recently I happened across Edward Sri’s Who am I to Judge?, which gives great insight into how to go about
helping others understand God’s judgement without becoming judgemental
themselves.
What all of this has highlighted for me lately is our human
fear of being judged – especially God’s final judgement at the moment of our
death.
Meditating on this question, I’ve come to realize that there
are two reasons why we fear judgement:
Ø
We are used to imperfect, human judges; and
Ø
We have already judged ourselves, and found we
are lacking.
Imperfect Judges
None of us here on earth has stood before Christ, the
perfect judge. That time will come only at the moment of our death, when each
of us will face our final judgement. Our last breath taken, our soul will stand
before the Lord, the evidence of our earthly life presented for His merciful judgement.
Until that time, however, we will have to content ourselves
with less than perfect human judges. This statement isn’t intended to slander
judges or our judicial system. I place a lot of faith in both the system and
those who run it, for our judges “would have no power over (us), unless it had
been given to (them) from above.” (cf Jn 19:11) I trust that in His infinite
wisdom, God has placed the right people in the right authority to bring about
His plan for Salvation. It may be earthly authority, but its ultimate goal
should be to help us to heaven. This is probably why it takes years of law
school, practice as a lawyer, and innumerable checks and balances to ensure
that only the best of the best become judges,
This said, these are human judges, and, unfortunately, human
weakness and sin can get in the way of God’s plans.
Mistakes happen, and even the best and most experienced of
judges can make an error in judgement. Even though they are the exception and
not the norm, stories of wrongful convictions abound in the media. The masses
call foul of the judicial system, and our mistrust of those put into a position
of authority deepens.
Unfortunately, this developed mistrust of our imperfect
human judges then get projected onto the perfect judge – our merciful Father.
We fear death and our final judgement, because we fear that
we will be the exception and not the norm. Although there has been an eternity
of God’s perfect and impartial judgement, we fear that we will be the first to
be wrongfully condemned. Our human minds, formed in their frailty by a history
of imperfect human judges, are unable to understand that God’s judgement is not
only perfect and impartial, but that it is also merciful.
We tend to forget that God is slow to anger and abounding is
steadfast love. (cf Ps 86:15, Jl 2:13, Jnh 4:2, Ex 34:6, Ne 9:17, Ps
103:8 and Ps 145:8)
This fear of imperfect human judgement leads into the second
reason why we fear judgement…
Self-Judgement
Don’t judge me! is
often the pre-emptive retort before someone can make a comment on whatever it
is we are doing. What this statement is really saying is: I have already judged myself, and know that I am lacking.
I know that I took an extra trip to the buffet table – don’t judge me!
I know that I drink too much – don’t judge me!
I know that I shouldn’t smoke a pack-a-day – don’t judge me!
I know that I slept around – don’t judge me!
We all know the litany of sinful behaviours and skeletons
that hide in our closets. Yes, deep down, we’re ashamed of them. We know what
we’ve done is not in our best interest. We really don’t need you to point this
out.
When it comes to the list of our own short-comings, we can
all be pretty harsh on ourselves, and hearing it from someone else just makes
the wound that much deeper. Self-control is usually listed as the last of the
fruits of the Holy Spirit for a reason, it can seem to be the hardest to come
by. Still, it is something that we desperately need, and should ardently
desire.
Our short-comings are never more evident than when we come
upon perfection. As an recreational athlete, I never feel more inadequate that
when I play with someone who has competed at the highest level… I become aware
very quickly of the chasm of skill and athleticism that separates myself from a
true athlete. I judge myself unworthy to be on the same playing field as my more-talented
adversary, and the lack of confidence soon shows in my increasingly sloppy play
– but don’t judge me… the other guy
is vastly superior.
Looking ahead to our own final judgement, we can’t help but think
that we will feel the same way when we come before Jesus. Christ is the
ultimate perfection, and we are not. Although called to hold ourselves to His
divine standard, we come to realize very quickly that we will fall considerably
short of His heavenly criteria… but don’t
judge me – at least I’m trying.
Maybe in this day and age we want to shout out to Christ: “Don’t judge me!” because we have judged
ourselves against His divine standard and we understand just how much we are
lacking. We don’t want God to judge us, because through His revelation we
already know where our actions are taking us, and we don’t want to go there. If
we ignore His judgement, then we can ignore the consequences.
We need to remember that if we have judged ourselves, we’re
being judged by an imperfect human judge.
In the end, Christ, our ultimate judge, understands this and
He is compassionate towards us. This is why He has given us the sacrament of
Reconciliation through the Church. He offers us the opportunity to bring
ourselves out of our own imperfect self-judgement into His perfect and merciful
judgement.
