Why We Fear Judgement

Dear Theophilous,

“Who am I to judge?” One might say that this was the question heard around the world. The fact that it was asked at 35,000 feet on a Papal flight, might just justify that moniker. The context of the question and the Pandora’s box it opened aside, by asking the rhetorical question, Pope Francis brought sharply into focus the human fear of being judged.

Very early on in my blogging career I wrote a short article on judging and being judge (you can read it here). I addressed the dilemma of trying to help others avoid condemnation at the final judgement without coming across as taking on God’s unique role of judge of their soul. It is a very fine line, and recently I happened across Edward Sri’s Who am I to Judge?, which gives great insight into how to go about helping others understand God’s judgement without becoming judgemental themselves.

What all of this has highlighted for me lately is our human fear of being judged – especially God’s final judgement at the moment of our death.

Meditating on this question, I’ve come to realize that there are two reasons why we fear judgement:

Ø  We are used to imperfect, human judges; and

Ø  We have already judged ourselves, and found we are lacking.

Imperfect Judges

None of us here on earth has stood before Christ, the perfect judge. That time will come only at the moment of our death, when each of us will face our final judgement. Our last breath taken, our soul will stand before the Lord, the evidence of our earthly life presented for His merciful judgement.

Until that time, however, we will have to content ourselves with less than perfect human judges. This statement isn’t intended to slander judges or our judicial system. I place a lot of faith in both the system and those who run it, for our judges “would have no power over (us), unless it had been given to (them) from above.” (cf Jn 19:11) I trust that in His infinite wisdom, God has placed the right people in the right authority to bring about His plan for Salvation. It may be earthly authority, but its ultimate goal should be to help us to heaven. This is probably why it takes years of law school, practice as a lawyer, and innumerable checks and balances to ensure that only the best of the best become judges,

This said, these are human judges, and, unfortunately, human weakness and sin can get in the way of God’s plans.

Mistakes happen, and even the best and most experienced of judges can make an error in judgement. Even though they are the exception and not the norm, stories of wrongful convictions abound in the media. The masses call foul of the judicial system, and our mistrust of those put into a position of authority deepens.

Unfortunately, this developed mistrust of our imperfect human judges then get projected onto the perfect judge – our merciful Father.

We fear death and our final judgement, because we fear that we will be the exception and not the norm. Although there has been an eternity of God’s perfect and impartial judgement, we fear that we will be the first to be wrongfully condemned. Our human minds, formed in their frailty by a history of imperfect human judges, are unable to understand that God’s judgement is not only perfect and impartial, but that it is also merciful.

We tend to forget that God is slow to anger and abounding is steadfast love. (cf Ps 86:15, Jl 2:13, Jnh 4:2, Ex 34:6, Ne 9:17, Ps 103:8 and Ps 145:8)

This fear of imperfect human judgement leads into the second reason why we fear judgement…

Self-Judgement

Don’t judge me! is often the pre-emptive retort before someone can make a comment on whatever it is we are doing. What this statement is really saying is: I have already judged myself, and know that I am lacking.

I know that I took an extra trip to the buffet table – don’t judge me!

I know that I drink too much – don’t judge me!

I know that I shouldn’t smoke a pack-a-day – don’t judge me!

I know that I slept around – don’t judge me!

We all know the litany of sinful behaviours and skeletons that hide in our closets. Yes, deep down, we’re ashamed of them. We know what we’ve done is not in our best interest. We really don’t need you to point this out.

When it comes to the list of our own short-comings, we can all be pretty harsh on ourselves, and hearing it from someone else just makes the wound that much deeper. Self-control is usually listed as the last of the fruits of the Holy Spirit for a reason, it can seem to be the hardest to come by. Still, it is something that we desperately need, and should ardently desire.

Our short-comings are never more evident than when we come upon perfection. As an recreational athlete, I never feel more inadequate that when I play with someone who has competed at the highest level… I become aware very quickly of the chasm of skill and athleticism that separates myself from a true athlete. I judge myself unworthy to be on the same playing field as my more-talented adversary, and the lack of confidence soon shows in my increasingly sloppy play – but don’t judge me… the other guy is vastly superior.

Looking ahead to our own final judgement, we can’t help but think that we will feel the same way when we come before Jesus. Christ is the ultimate perfection, and we are not. Although called to hold ourselves to His divine standard, we come to realize very quickly that we will fall considerably short of His heavenly criteria… but don’t judge me – at least I’m trying.

Maybe in this day and age we want to shout out to Christ: “Don’t judge me!” because we have judged ourselves against His divine standard and we understand just how much we are lacking. We don’t want God to judge us, because through His revelation we already know where our actions are taking us, and we don’t want to go there. If we ignore His judgement, then we can ignore the consequences.

We need to remember that if we have judged ourselves, we’re being judged by an imperfect human judge.

In the end, Christ, our ultimate judge, understands this and He is compassionate towards us. This is why He has given us the sacrament of Reconciliation through the Church. He offers us the opportunity to bring ourselves out of our own imperfect self-judgement into His perfect and merciful judgement.

Keeping Holy Week Holy

Dear Theophilous,

It seems like only yesterday we were surprised by the fact that, yet again, Lent had snuck up on us, and we weren’t ready to make our Lenten sacrifice. Ash Wednesday was upon us, we hadn’t given Lent any thought, and we were left scrambling to decide what to sacrifice. We all know that nothing good comes when that happens, we fall back on the old standbys (chocolate, chips, …), which seem doomed to fail from the start – just like last Lent.

Here we are, 5 weeks later, and now Holy Week has snuck up on us. The holiest time of the year. Yet, if we have prepared for Holy Week the same way we have prepared for Lent (as in, not at all), then we can expect to get the same out of our Holy Week… nothing at all.

Like any major event in our lives – we need to plan ahead.

Since Holy Week is only a few days away, I thought to share a couple of ideas on how to make Holy Week a time of prayerful preparation for the great feast of Easter.

Easter Feast

Not only is Easter the greatest feast of the liturgical year, it is also a time for family and friends to get together to celebrate. Everyone loves a grand feast surrounded by loved ones, with laughter and merriment as the sound track, and the egg hunt as the opening act. A day of this magnitude requires lots of planning and preparation – get as much done beforehand as possible. Having everything ready to go before Holy Wee begins will not only allow you to relax and enjoy the great feast, but it will also allow you to concentrate on the totality of Easter from Passion to Resurrection.

There is no possible way to meditate on the great gift of the Eucharist at the Last Supper on Holy Thursday if one is scurrying around town for last minute items before all the stores shut down for the weekend. You will not be able to ponder on the magnitude of Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross if your mind is mulling over Sunday’s menu. Finally, if there is any Sunday you should linger on your knees in thanksgiving and wonderment at the God’s greatness instead of rushing home to get the ham in the oven, it’s Easter Sunday.

Penitential Preparation

As Catholics, we are called to avail ourselves of the sacrament of Reconciliation at least once a year. Normally, it is strongly encouraged to make a good Confession during the season of Lent. Many parishes will organize an evening penitential service, with a liturgy of the word, followed by Confession, where the pastors of neighbouring parishes will come to help out (and I’m sure the favour is returned). Annually the Archdiocese of Toronto will have a Day of Confession, where parish priests will spend the majority of the day in the Confessional, negating the excuse that regularly scheduled Reconciliation doesn’t fit into your routine.

If for whatever reason you haven’t made it to Confession this lent (like myself), make plans to get there this weekend – times are usually posted on your parish website.

Prayer Plan

Life is busy enough without throwing a major holiday into the mix. I find that if I don’t have a plan for a daily prayer routine, I’ll find myself dropping exhausted into bed without having once stopped to talk with our Lord. If we really want to take away some spiritual nourishment this Holy Week, then it’s time to step it up a notch.

A few ideas of how to supplement your prayer life during Holy Week might include:

Ø  Praying the Sorrowful Mysteries daily

Ø  Daily meditation on the Stations of the Cross (or just a few each day)

Ø  Praying the Divine Mercy chaplet at 3pm daily

The idea is to focus on Christ’s sacrifice for us so as to make the magnitude of His Passion and Resurrection that much more powerful.

Family Support

Our faith is a family affair, and it’s our responsibility to get our spouses, children, parents, brothers & sisters, etc. to heaven. With this in mind, we need to keep them in the loop of our Holy Week plans. First and foremost, this is to encourage them to grow closer to Christ through a deeper meditation on his Passion and Resurrection. Of equal importance, is to communicate these plans to those closest to you who will be affected by them so that they can be respectful of your own preparation for Good Friday and Easter. There are enough distractions going on in the preparations for the greatest feast of the year, they don’t need to be complicated by any petty disputes that arise from miscommunications and misunderstandings.

The seven days between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday are meant to be a flurry of spiritual activity and not dedicated to a worldly business. It is a time to prepare our souls for the magnitude of Christ’s Passion, and not simply our homes for the multitudes who will come for dinner. By being ready for Holy Week, we will be able to properly meditate upon the greatness of Christ’s sacrifice and His triumph over death.

May you and your family have a prayerful and prayer-filled Holy Week that truly merits its name.

Hell's Greatest Secret - Sins of Omission

Dear Theophilous,

It’s over 20 years ago, but it still haunts me like it was this morning. My wife (fiancée at the time) and I were visiting the priest who was going to marry us at St. Augustine’s Seminary in Toronto, where he was teaching. We were heading out to lunch, and as we drove down the long driveway we saw an older man off to the side of the road juggling shopping bags and trying to open a gate that was obviously stuck.

“Poor old guy,” Father commented from the back seat. I murmured agreement and continued to roll down the drive. Just as we were about to roll past where the older gent was still struggling with the gate Father piped up, “Stop the car!” He then proceeded to jump out and easily lift the gate so it could swing open. When he got back in the car, Father didn’t say a word, but I looked sheepishly forward, embarrassed that I had not stepped up to the plate when God had provided me with the opportunity.

My wife, Father and the old gentleman have probably all long forgotten the incident. For me, however, it still lingers in the recesses of my conscience.

I had sinned.

I hadn’t done anything wrong. I hadn’t broken any of the commandments. In fact, I hadn’t done anything at all. And that’s my point. By deliberately choosing to drive on by, I had committed a sin of omission.

Prattling off the Confiteor by rote each week, we probably don’t notice it, but we are reminded that the good we don’t do can be just as damning as the sins we wilfully commit:

I confess to Almighty God,

And to you, my bothers and sisters,

That I have sinned,

In my thoughts and in my words;

In what I have done, and in what I have failed to do.

Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault…

Going into the confessional, it’s easy (kind of…) to list the sins we have committed. We have the 10 Commandments and the Beatitudes to guide our examination of conscience. I actually have an app that takes me through the process, gives me a check list of all my faults, which I then scratch in hieroglyphs onto a piece of paper so I don’t forget anything.

But what about sins of omission? How do we recognize what we have failed to do?

Do you look the other way when passing a hand stretched out for spare change?

Do you give up your seat on the bus?

Do you offer half a sandwich to the co-worker with no lunch?

Do you offer to carry a senior’s groceries to their car?

Do you defend the faith when someone slanders the Church?

Do you take a stand for life? Marriage?

Do you hold the door open, or let it close in someone’s face?

Do you say thank you when you receive?

Do you wave when someone lets you into traffic?

As long as the list of sins I’ve committed is long, I’d bet that my list of sins of omission is just as long, if not longer.

Satan must kill himself laughing each time he sees us ignore the chance to do God’s will. This is his greatest secret. Daily we’re offered a multitude of opportunities to do God’s will, yet we choose to turn the other way. Lucifer doesn’t even have to lift a finger, and we quietly turn from God towards him.

To combat this, I’ve tried to consciously change the tactics of my examination of conscience. Not only do I reflect on the sins I have committed, I try to pick out the moments when I have failed to do good in the world. I look for the opportunities God gave me to be a witness to His love in the world and I failed to rise to the challenge. I confess these shortcomings and resolve to do better in the future.