When Waking Up Takes a Heroic Effort

Dear Theophilous,

Like most people, I think the hardest moment of my day is the first. Monday to Friday (along with the odd Saturday and Sunday) we all dread it… that moment when the alarm starts blaring to start us in motion. There really must be a more humane way to start the day.

Everyday the temptation is overwhelming… the desire to hit the snooze button, or even better – just turn the alarm off, roll over and forget for a few more precious minutes that the world and its worries exists. Especially in the dark days of winter when there are still hours to go before the sun shows its shining face.

I could… very easily I could… but I don’t.

Recently I heard this moment referred to as the Heroic Moment, called such as a testament to the heroic effort that is needed to get out of bed each morning.

I have found that the amount of heroism needed to get oneself going comes down to the first thought that goes through my mind… Do I wake up saying:

Good morning God!

or

Good God, it’s morning!

The order and the tone make all the difference as to how the rest of the day is going to pan out. I also find this helps give me the push to persevere in my morning prayer life, my struggles with which I’ve written about here before.

From this point, I dedicate my day to God through Christ.

Stumbling to the kitchen, where I charge my phone overnight, I begin my morning routine with a morning offering prayer. Although there are a few different versions of the same prayer, I have gotten into the habit of using one from the Laudate app:

Oh my Jesus,

through the Immaculate Heart of Mary,

I offer You my prayers, works, joys, and sufferings of this day.

For all the intentions of Your Sacred Heart,

in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass throughout the world,

in reparation for my sins,

for the intentions of all my family, friends and relatives,

and in particular for the intentions of the Holy Father.

Amen.

I find this self-centering at the very beginning of my day sets me off on the right foot, ready to meet the trials of the day with God’s grace.

Do I meditate on my morning offering constantly through out the day? No. With the challenges that the vocations of husband, father and educator bring, I’m often pulled in many different directions, my mind occupied by daily trivialities. What offering my day to God, in its prayers, works, joys and sufferings, from the moment I awake does is give me a focal point to return to. When my mind gets sidetracked, when the daily grind starts to take its toll, when I enter into the sufferings of human life, a quick reminder that even these I have offered to God allows me to restart again, a reboot in God’s grace, so that I may persevere.

How hard life must be for those who do not have this faith foundation.

This is why every morning when the alarm blares I’m able to joyfully proclaim: God morning God!

Finding a "Little Way" to Pray

Dear Theophilous,

Even the greatest saints suffer spiritual dryness from time to time. One of the best examples being St. Teresa of Calcutta, who suffered from a dark night of the soul that lasted for almost 50 years. If someone of Mother Teresa’s holiness had such a prolonged and laborious prayer life, then should it come as any wonder that the rest of us struggle in maintaining our own small prayer routines?

Prayer life is something I struggle with on a continual basis, a struggle I’ve reflected upon here before. There are times, very few and far between, when I feel as though I’m on top of my game; prayer comes easy and I come away feeling as though I would levitate like St. Joseph of Cupertino. Most of the time, however, I feel as though I’m simply ploughing through the routine of prayer, prattling of the words of rote prayers while my mind wanders to the troubles of the day – I’m going through the motions, but I’m really just mailing it in. And then there is the dark night of my soul, usually in the darkest and longest nights of winter, when my prayer train goes completely off the rails, and I will go for days neglecting my prayer life, my Rosary collecting dust just like the treadmill.

It was into this prayer darkness that a good friend Monica McConkey of Equipping Catholic Families recently shone a wonderful light.

Out of the blue I got a message from Monica asking me to check out her new e-book “A Little Way to Pray”, and I was moved by both her honesty with her struggles in the prayer life, and even more so by her determination to persevere in her growth in holiness. As I read Monica’s reflection a line jumped out at me, and I thought that is so me… that line so sums up my prayer struggles:

More often than not, the moments I’m overwhelmed and frustrated and in most need of prayer are the moments I forget to pray and just continue to struggle on my own.

… As I look back on my day, my week, or my month, I can see the wisdom in this one line. Monica shares the every day struggles she encounters when prayer could have (and should have) seen her through – laundry, dishes, meals and homework; and I can see all the times when prayer could have (and should have) seen me through life’s daily challenges – an unmotivated student, a difficult colleague, household chores and little time for myself. In the moments when I most needed to pray, to look to God for help, I pushed ahead on my own, got frustrated, becoming the man that God never intended me to be.

Knowing one has a problem is half the battle. Knowing that one struggles in prayer will only lead one into a deeper prayer life. Knowing that one has to hand over those troubles to God is the first step closer to Him.

In the tradition of Ste. Thérèse de Lisieux, Monica calls these little hiccups of life her Little Way to Pray, using them as prayer prompts in:

• Sinfulness
• Weakness, and
• Littleness.

This is something I’ve thought of before. Struggling with a temper that can erupt under stress, I have sought out Bible verses to recall when I can feel my blood pressure rise. I figured if I just turned to God before I hit my breaking point, then I would become the quiet, docile saint I so long to be.

Unfortunately, like every great intention, things never go according to plan. Monica shares how she did not instantly become the earthly saint she intended (something that takes great courage to admit), and I, myself, will still blow my top, only to immediately resent it, beating myself up for days with lingering resentment.

But we can’t become discouraged, nor does God want us to give up. We are called to persevere in our quest for holiness. We will never achieve sainthood in this life, but this life is to be a time of preparation for when we are ready to enter into God’s Kingdom.

In The Little Way to Pray, Monica has created a tool to help in times of prayer struggle. In the beautiful way as she always does at Equipping Catholic Families, she has created fridge posters and pocket cards of prayer prompts … those little things in life that we can use to help remind us to turn to God in difficult times, both big and small. My favourite being:

Here I am in all my littleness. Please take care of this, because I can’t.

Advent - a Mini-Lent

Dear Theophilous,

As the calendar turns over to December and the malls fill with Christmas decorations, we are reminded of the joyful warmth that Christmas brings. There are office parties to go to, neighbours to have over, as well as family and friends to reconnect with over food, drinks and gifts.

Yet the Church is clothed in a mournful purple, and the Scripture readings remind us of God’s final judgement and call us to forgo the pleasures the season embraces. What gives?

Unfortunately, in all of the hubbub that surrounds our preparation for Christmas, we tend to forget why Christ came in the first place – to save us from our sins.

Keeping this in mind, every year I try to make my Advent a mini-Lent in an attempt to prepare my heart for the true meaning of Christmas. I try to incorporate the three pillars of Lent: Prayer, Fasting and Almsgiving into my Advent life.

The funny thing is, the craziness of the pre-Christmas season actually lends itself to making Advent a kind of mini-Lent.

Prayer

December always seems like a whirlwind. There are gifts to buy, friends and family to see, and Christmas concerts to attend. One would think that it’s pretty much impossible to keep a prayer life, let alone deepen it.

When I begin to feel overwhelmed I take a mental step back, a deep breath and create a personal bubble of silence in the busy world. A simple prayer of thanksgiving – for the child who’s concert I’m squeezed into a stuffy gym for, the ability to buy gifts in a mall full of grumpy shoppers, for the job which I leave for and come home from in the dark.

Prayer life in Advent doesn’t need to be monastic; it can be quite simple, and as such, it can give us the strength to meet the festive flurry head-on.

Fasting

Diet in December… impossible, but fasting can be made easy. Culinary temptation is all around us in the lead up to December 25^th; the call to fast reminds us to enjoy this time of year simply and responsibly.

Fasting is Advent doesn’t need to be a complete giving up of food, luxurious treats or drink. Fasting can happen through out your normal daily life: a simpler and healthier breakfast, a small lunch (perhaps one made at home instead of from the food court), and only one helping at dinner. When it comes to all of the yummy nibbles at Christmas socials, taking just one or two, instead of three or four or more, will let you be both socially polite yet aware of our need to fast from overindulgence.

Almsgiving

At first glance, the lead up to Christmas seems to be the antithesis of charity. For 11 months of the year we teach our kids the importance of sharing, and then once December hits we inform them they can tell the fat man in the red suit their wildest desires, and then on the 25^th it magically shows up in the living room. Even as adults we get caught up in the greed of Christmas, sending family and friends a list of everything we want but felt guilty purchasing for ourselves.

Yet in the midst of the “Gimme! Gimme! Santa!” mindset in the weeks before Christmas we can find the perfect opportunity not only to teach our children, but also to learn a little bit ourselves about almsgiving.

Many schools will collect gifts for families struggling to make ends meet, never mind buy Christmas gifts. Many elementary schools will have Christmas Angels, where families or students will bring in individual gifts, while high-school homerooms will purchase gifts for a specific family. When talking about this kind of giving with my son or students, I don’t approach it as simply giving another gift, but rather to go with one or two fewer presents under the tree (it’s not like there still won’t be an overabundance) so as to give something to someone who is in need.

As for my own Advent almsgiving, I bring my Lenten practice to December: the money I save by fasting (from fast-food, treats or the school cafeteria) goes into the poor box each Sunday. What I have found is that by concentrating on giving to the poor during the Church’s penitential seasons, this practice becomes a habit that lasts throughout the year, giving the St. Vincent de Paul Society a more steady (albeit small) income they can count on.

So, dear Theophilous, as we begin the new liturgical year this Advent, joyously awaiting the coming of our Saviour at Christmas, let us not lose sight of why God sent His only Son to dwell among us. By focusing this Advent on the three pillars of prayer, fasting and almsgiving, not only will your Christmas take on a more sacred feel, you will draw yourself closer to the Lord at His Nativity.